I find myself using this word a lot since September 27th. The course of my life was thrown significantly off track and I am not where I “should” be according to what my plans were pre-September 27th 2011.
I should still be on maternity leave, caring for an almost 3 month old. I should be buying her first Christmas presents and the stocking Todd’s mom made for her with her name on it should be hanging on our mantle next to Emma’s. She should be sitting in her bouncy seat next to me… or doing tummy time on the floor. There are so many things we should be doing with Isla and I encounter them every day. It’s hard to believe that she should be almost 3 months by now.
In spite of constantly being reminded of what could have been, I am thankful that I still do have happiness in my life. As Christmas approaches we will celebrate what we have...a loving family, good friends and each other. We will continue our Christmas traditions and making memories with Isla in our hearts, knowing now more than ever how important it is to stop and enjoy some of the little things life has to offer.
The "shoulds" are killers, I like your attitude though, celebrating with what you have. Yes, you should be making happier memories right now, instead you have an angel who will look out for you and your family forever. I know you would prefer to have her here. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteI'm just amazed at how you are really focusing on the blessings in your life...Emma and Todd, and all of the wonderful things that go along with being you. Keep celebrating the family you have in front of you and remembering the family you have in your heart and I know you have amazing things in store for you and your family!! xoxoxo
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