We are ready…whenever you are.
So…today, we were riding home from work/school…and Todd and I were discussing some things that have been bothering me lately. I’ve been feeling down about some things and Todd wanted to know what’s been troubling me and how he could help. Lately, I have been missing my family and sometimes when summer starts I think back to how much I loved summer when I lived in Branford, surrounded by family and friends. Also, I cannot deny that I am feeling a bit down about the hopes and what-ifs of getting pregnant again. It’s been 9 months since Isla died and I live in fear that I was not meant to be the mother of 2. I was expressing this to Todd in the car and Emma piped up from the backseat wanting to know how a baby would get in my tummy. EEK! Todd turned to me and said “Kate…?” So…I turned and told Emma that God would send us a baby when he thought we were ready for one. That seemed to appease her. She asked if our baby was “inbisible” (invisible) until God sends him/her to us. I told her yes and that we must be patient until our time comes.
That appeased her, but left me with questions. How do I prove I am ready? Is having a baby a scientific thing…or a miracle…or both?? I believe it is both and that timing is everything; not only the timing of the egg meeting the sperm but the timing in life. I am hoping that spring or summer of 2013 is perfect timing to welcome a much wanted addition to our family. I hope God is listening closely. We are ready to let hope into our hearts that we might be fortunate enough to expand our love to another member of the family.