Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Half a Year

Dear Isla,

It has been 6 months since that heart-wrenching day that we had to say hello and goodbye all at once. It is hard to believe that half a year has passed already.

Though not as intensely as the immediate aftermath, I still find myself going over the “what-ifs” and the “should-be’s”.  It is hard not to live with regret of what could have been done differently so that you’d be here with us today.  It is also difficult not to stop from time to time and wonder how different my life would be.  I like to picture happy family moments….sharing holidays & milestones… the joy of each other’s company doing simple things together…and Daddy and I admiring our 2 beautiful daughters and witnessing those priceless moments between sisters that would have melted our hearts. Emma misses you and often says “I wish Isla was here”. She was so looking forward to being the big sister and was ready to take good care of you. She was so looking forward to dropping you off with me in the infant room at school, which we had to visit daily before you were born so she could see all the little ones, thinking that she was soon going to have her chance to proudly call one her own.

I hope that you are in a better place…and I must have faith that there is a reason you are there instead of here with us. We miss you and think about you every day. You are living on in our hearts and I have many happy memories of our time together last year when I was happily anticipating and preparing for your arrival. You are always with me. “Mama loves you”. 


  1. Thinking of you at the six-month mark... It was a tough one for me, but I hope it goes easier on you.

    I had to take my blog private, but if you would like an invite, send me your email address to Molly.ebach@gmail.com

  2. The milestones can be rough. I always picture Trey as a big brother and know that had Trey lived, we would not have Lorelei. We always ask the what ifs, and even almost three years later, I have guilt that I did something or did not do something while I was pregnant with Trey. Be gentle on yourself. I would encourage you to let your daughter write a letter to Isla, maybe you all should. Hope to meet you soon! :) Sharon

  3. I remember the 6 month mark as one of the hardest milestones. It really set me back. I hope this anniversary is easy on you or at least not quite as heavy as it was for so many that I know. I LOVE that quote and the picture of Isla's things, how beautiful.

  4. This quote is my favourite and is marked on my daughters memorial. I've just hit that 6 month mark too. It seems like too much time doesn't it, half a year. We will always miss our daughters that should be with us and it really just is not fair! Thoughts with you.

  5. This story makes my heart ache for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss!
    I'm sure she's watching down on you all and loving you all back.

  6. Thank you Andrea. I just found, and am enjoying your blog!

  7. Hello Katy,
    I found your blog through Brooke's blog. Your post has touched my heart. Nov 11, 2011 we lost our baby Cutu. Life has been so tough since then. Here I am sitting in my work station, in tears. Really wonderfully posted.